Must Think Harder...

It's been a little longer than usual since my last post- predictably and annoyingly, uni work is reaching slowly for my throat, but I am fending it off day by day.

I tell a lie. My degree is one of the best things I've ever done and it's so enjoyable, but it is occupying a lot of my time these days, not to mention dealing with crappy editing software that crashes every five minutes.

Last night, from about 5pm, I got a buzz to do something spontaneous and fun, just to go somewhere and do something a little different. My other housemates were busy or out, so one by one I phoned or sent a text to as many of my friends here in Birmingham as I could. Nothing. Nada. Busy. Got family visiting. Home for the weekend. Out for dinner. Going to a (*shit*) club.

What to do with all this pent up energy?

The last time I can remember this happening, I was in Santa Barbara. My resolution was to jump in the swimming pool in the middle of the night while everyone else was snuggled up in their living rooms doing boring things. It was freezing in the pool. My muscles stiffened up with great discomfort. But my god was it fun as hell.

Last night, I started to feel slightly trapped by the lack of options open to me. It was like the whole world had shut for the night, leaving me kicking pebbles in the street. But when I was last in Santa Barbara on a brief visit, a good friend of mine also felt kind of trapped. We talked about how in order to have fun nowadays, it seems like you really have to plan it out well in advance, because everyone's too busy with this and that bullshit.

Hell, I had an idea to play Beer Pong one night with my coursemates, but even that requires planning and deep thought. It's been about three weeks in the works, and it still hasn't happened. What the fuck?

Are we losing our ability to be spontaneous? Why can't we just have a bit of fun every now and again, or adventure? Or something that isn't mundane day-today living! Are the consequences of detouring from the "main plan" that dire? Maybe it's because I live in the arsehole that is known as Selly Oak, where it's cold and full of chavs...I dunno. Sometimes, I want to go for a drive that goes nowhere. I want to have a random house party, or go to one at least. I want to chill in a park at night and shoot the breeze with my really close friends and look at the stars.

Am I imposing limits on myself by surrounding myself with people/places that inhibit me? Am I just whining and not making the most of what I do have? I'll figure that out soon enough when I move back to London I guess, a place where every opportunity is open to me...apparently.

Rant over. Oh, almost forgot, have this. Many thanks to my beloved brother for finding this one.