The Art Of Conversation is...

Listening.

Have you ever been in a conversation where you're telling someone something about yourself, and then, as if it were some sort of natural continuation, they just give you an anecdote about them that somehow loosely relates to what you just said?

That's not a conversation. That's two people talking about themselves.

Hell, I've done it dozens of times, sometimes it's hard not to. But today I would like to ask you to try and simply listen instead. Actually listen to the words that come out of their mouth. Don't think of something to "match it" with, just let them carry on speaking. Explore what they want to talk about, what's on their mind, and be interested in them. If all of a sudden you start saying

"Oh yea, that's completely like the time I..."

You may think you're being helpful by showing empathy, but you're also talking about yourself. Let go of the ego and let this one be about them. Research has shown that if you're in a conversation with say, Mr. Tickle, and you're asking Mr. Tickle about his life and actually engaging with the guy- showing genuine interest in him- Mr. Tickle will remember you all the more for it, and he will remember you as actually being interesting.

This is because you have invested in Mr. Tickle. When he goes home, he'll remember someone who wanted to find out about him, and not some boring person who relayed the conversation back to themselves. And he'll tell all the Mr. Men about you too.

Life should be about giving, because that is truly the most rewarding thing (though sometimes it may not seem it). That giving can start with the simplest of things: a conversation. Give some of yourself away; invest in someone else. Stop talking and start listening. It may be hard at first, but it's actually well worth it.

If you've enjoyed reading my ramblings, you can conveniently subscribe to them via email instead of trying to figure out when my next post will be. Just enter your address on the left. As ever, comments are always encouraged.

P.S. If you don't know who he is or if you're merely feeling a bit nostalgic, this is Mr. Tickle.