Oh no! He's going to hug me!!

When performed correctly, hugs are quite simply amazing.


When done wrong...well, do you remember when Mufasa died?

A tad dramatic I know, and I'll admit, hugging isn't always easy. Sometimes you don't know the recipient well enough, or they just want a handshake. But when it is appropriate, you should really do it right!

I have had too many pathetic, half-arsed hugs that leave me feeling unsatisfied and perplexed. Hugging is one of life's greatest gifts, and they can make you feel so good about yourself. You know when you've received a bad hug- the weak arms that kind of linger around your back, flapping around as if you've just embraced two disjointed limbs. Or the slight gap between you because they don't want to be too close to you (who knows where you've been?). And the slight chin-tilt away from your shoulder- God forbid they actually rest their head on it!

Such traits usually mean you've encountered "the dead fish hug".

Here are some helpful tips:

On the approach, your head goes to the left, never the right.

Your hands should wrap firmly - I repeat, firmly - around your hugging partner. Most likely, your left arm will wrap at a lower height than your right. Personal preferences may vary however.

Give a mild squeeze to show some genuine emotion.

The "back pat" should be used with caution. Give a hearty singular pat for a man-hug, but otherwise it is best avoided. Do not patronise your partner with an overload of back-pats, unless you want to make them feel like they're six years old.

Hugs can last anywhere from three to five seconds. Any more or less is approaching awkward.

A hug, as defined by the Free Online Dictionary, is "A close, affectionate embrace". Make sure it is.